Celebrity Father Spotlight: Dreux Frédéric (a.k.a Lil Fizz)

Mona Scott-Young’s TV shows have been such a destructive force in the black community because they portray black people in such a negative light.  So, when one of her shows actually portrays something positive it can be a little shocking. On Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, the latest installment of Love and Hip Hop, there is a small breath of positivity. Dreux Pierre Frédéric a.k.a Lil Fizz, former member of the hit pop group B2K, is on the show as a custodial parent who raises his son with (what seems to be) little help from the child’s mother.

Dreux’s story is a little different from those we usually hear in the media because he has custody of his son. According to Dreux he filed for and won full custody of his son when the relationship between he and his son’s mother went south. He maintained full custody for a year and a half then the courts granted joint custody. Although they have joint custody, he still has his son full time. When his child was young he “completely put his [music] career on hold and focused on raising [his] son.”

On the show you can tell that Dreux loves having his son full time. However, even though he has him, he still has some of the same problems that noncustodial parents have. Unfortunately, he has to deal with a not so good relationship with the mother of his son. He also has the added stress of trying to find a woman that will accept him along with his son and baby’s mother.

Despite the issues, Dreux is still a shining example of a millennial dad who is redefining what black fatherhood looks like.  He is not perfect, but he takes care of his child and no one can deny that. He is not looking for recognition or a check from his baby’s mother, he just looks out for the best interest of his son. He is not like other Love and Hip Hop dads who are facing charges for failure to pay child support. He raises his child with little outside financial support. Also, he doesn’t walk around with a chip on his shoulder complaining about being a single dad. He just steps up and does what needs to be done. We should salute Dreux, because he demonstrates what fatherhood should really be. Hopefully, seeing him on the small screen will change someone’s perception of black fathers.

Thugs? Really? – Questionable Media Coverage After the Death of Freddie Gray

On May 21, 2015 Marilyn Mosby, State’s Attorney for Baltimore City, announced that a grand jury indicted the 6 officers responsible for the death of Freddie Gray, an unarmed 25 year old Baltimore resident. The charges included depraved heart-murder, which carries a penalty of up to 30 years in prison, involuntary manslaughter, second degree assault, reckless endangerment and more.

Freddie Gray died of spinal injuries he incurred while in police custody. After his death on April 19, 2015, Baltimore was in an uproar. Gray’s death was just the latest among a rash of police killings including the deaths of Mike Brown in Ferguson, MO,  Tamir Rice in Cleveland, OH, Eric Garner in New York City, NY, and Walter Scott in North Charleston, SC. For the people of Baltimore, the death of Freddie Gray was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

The city erupted. Fire and looting broke out, and hordes of angry teens burned buildings and threw rocks at police vehicles. And, as one would guess, where there was looting, there was the media. Various media outlets – Fox, CNN, msnbc – were documenting the whole story showing nonstop footage of the reckless rioters and ignoring the peaceful protesters. There was also footage of press conferences featuring Baltimore city officials. Everything was fine until Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake made a statement calling the rioters “thugs.”

It was like a whirlwind. Suddenly everyone was a thug and government officials, from the Governor of Maryland to the President of the United States, and news anchors were calling the people of Baltimore thugs. It all came to a head when Baltimore City Councilman Carl Stokes (District 12) spoke freely on CNN. When asked if thugs was the appropriate term to use in reference to the rioters he replied, “Calling them thugs? Just call them Ni**ers! Just call them Ni**gers! No, we don’t have to call people names such as that.”

It got ugly when Fox News began to spread a rumor that the gang members in Baltimore – Blood, Crips, and BGF (Black Guerrilla Family) – came together to kill police. According to the story, the gangs called a truce and were working in concert to take out organized hits on Baltimore city police. It took Nightly Show host Larry Wilmore to get to the bottom of things. In his April 30 episode, he sat down with members of all the gangs. The men told him that they called the truce because it was important for them to show solidarity and unity when calling for peace and justice for Freddie Gray.

When other journalists began to talk to actual gang members, they saw that the men were upset that they were being accused of conspiring to kill cops. They were actually calling for peace and protecting their neighborhood from the looters who were not even from the part of town in which they were looting. One Blood gang member said “We want to tell the people of Baltimore city that the image they are trying to portray of the gangs – the Crips, the Bloods, the BGF – we did not make that truce to harm cops. We are not about to allow you to paint that picture of us.”

Unfortunately, at times like this the media always makes a point to negatively portray black men. Rioters are thugs, gang members are cop killers, and victims are criminals. It never seems to end. Hopefully, the news will one day show some integrity and place blame where it really belongs. In truth, the six officers who callously disregarded Gray’s cries for help and took him on the “rough ride” that ended his life were the real thugs in this story.

FROM BOYZ 2 MEN, INC. stands in unity with Baltimore and the fight for justice!

References

Boyle, L. (2015). The rival gang members who stood against violence in Baltimore: Crips, Bloods, Black Guerrilla Family and Nation of Islam ‘united as black men’ to stand between police and rioters. Daily Mail. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3059143/The-Wire-Unimaginable-scenes-Baltimore-s-Crips-Bloods-Black-Guerrilla-Family-Nation-Islam-unite-black-men-stop-violence.html

Graham, D. A. (2015). The Mysterious Death of Freddie Gray. The Atlantic. Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/04/the-mysterious-death-of-freddie-gray/391119/

Perez-Pena, R. (2015). Six Baltimore Officers Indicted in Death of Freddie Gray. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/22/us/six-baltimore-officers-indicted-in-death-of-freddie-gray.html?_r=0

YouTube. (2015). Soledad O’Brien to Journalists – ” Stop Saying Thug ” – CNN – Reliable Sources – May 3, 2015. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_RhO9PMI1k

Black Ink’s Richard “O’S**t” Duncan: A Walking Talking Stereotype

As an advocate for black men, I immediately fell in love with VH1’s show Black Ink Crew. The show provides a first hand view inside the life of a young black entrepreneur who runs a tattoo parlor in Harlem called Black Ink Tattoo Studio. Ceaser Emanuel, the owner, and his friends work hard to maintain the shop’s reputation as one of the best tattoo parlors in New York City. One of Ceaser’s friends, who is also a tattoo artist at the shop, is Richard “O’S**t” Duncan. His nickname, O’S**t, should indicate that his life is no bowl of sunshine.

O’S**t is a former college athlete who played football until he tore his ACL and could no longer perform. Art was his backup plan. As a very talented artist, tattooing just came easy to him. His talent is undeniable, but it is often his personal life that is the subject of controversy on the show.

O’S**t has a rainbow coalition of baby mammas, three to be exact. He has one child each with a white woman, a Hispanic woman, and a black woman. In one infamous scene, we see his Hispanic baby mamma get into a fight with one of his girlfriends in a restaurant in front of the children. This event clearly demonstrated that O’S**t has no control over the relationships he has with the women in his life.

Of greater concern, however, are his interactions with the criminal justice system. On the show, O’S**t shared that his mother’s dying wish to him was that he stop getting arrested. He said that as a young man he got arrested a lot, and Black Ink’s camera crew has chronicled his latest bouts with the justice system. He got a gun charge when he was pulled over driving his girlfriend’s car where she kept her service weapon. Police found the gun, and the show has shown O’S**t in and out of court and in and out of the bail bondsman’s office ever since.

If all that is not enough trouble to warrant his nickname, it was recently revealed that O’S**t has a drug and alcohol problem. He has gone on alcohol benders where he disappears from work and is not seen for days. Not only that but he has failed drug tests given to him by his bail bondsman. In one incident, they found powder cocaine in his pocket, and he had to choose between going to jail and going to rehab. He chose rehab.

O’S**t’s story is important because it is one part of a larger conversation about how black people are seen in the media. O’S**t demonstrates everything negative that the world says about black men. People say black men indiscriminately have children all over town with different women. People say black men cannot control themselves with women. Also, people say black men are on drugs and in and out of jail. O’S**t’s sexual exploits, baby mamma’s, drug use, and arrest record make him a walking, talking stereotype.

This is not to say that Richard Duncan is a bad person. In fact, he is not a bad person. He just has the same particular set of problems that come with being an African American man. People in our community can say that Richard is just like any other black guy trying to make it, but what about people outside our communities? If they happen to see the parts of O’S**t’s life that are highlighted on the show, they might begin to think that what people say about black men is true.

So we do need to look at the way black men are portrayed in the media. When Black men on “reality” TV shows are living out the narrative that most people already have of them, it can be problematic for us. It gives people something to point at and say “look at how they behave, I am sure all of them act like that.” When that is the case, the issues we face will only get worse because public perception is everything.

 References

VH1. (2015). Black Ink Crew: O’S**t. Retrieved from http://www.vh1.com/celebrities/ohst/#cast=black_ink_crew

Photos courtesy of VH1

Malcolm X Didn’t Hate White People, He Loved Black People

When Malcolm X called white people devils, he was not talking about any one specific person. He was commenting on the evil that had been done to his people by members of America’s dominant race. Malcolm Little, the man he was before his religious and cultural awakening, had experienced all manner of devilry at the hands of people with white skin. Two of his childhood homes were burned to the ground by white supremacist groups, and he believed his father, who was a proud Garveyite and Baptist preacher, was killed by white racists (Malcolm X, 1964).

So, I think it is fair to say that Malcolm X had his reasons for saying what he said. Those remarks aside, Malcolm was solely concerned with the plight of the “22 million so called Negroes in America.” As a resident of Harlem in the 1940s, he had experienced life in an impoverished community, and he and the other residents were mistreated on a regular basis. Slum lords charged high rent for run down tenements, and merchants charged high prices for inferior goods and services.

To Malcolm, the worst part about living in Harlem was that, even though black people were in the majority, they had no control over their circumstances. They were at the mercy of the property owners and the business people. Under this reality, Malcolm knew that Black people needed a new way of doing things. So, he preached a new philosophy – the economic and political philosophy of Black Nationalism.

According to Malcolm X “The political philosophy of Black Nationalism only means that if you and I are going to live in a Black community – and that’s where we’re going to live, cause as soon as you move …out of the Black community into their community, it’s mixed for a period of time, but they’re gone and you’re right there all by yourself again – we must understand the politics of our community and we must know what politics is supposed to produce.”

Malcolm X stated that “the black man should control the politics and the politicians in his own community [because] until we become politically mature we will always be mislead, lead astray, or deceived or maneuvered into supporting someone politically who doesn’t have the good of our community at heart.”

In addition to controlling politics in the black community, Malcolm also believed that black people should control black money. Malcolm said “The economic philosophy of Black Nationalism means that we should own and operate and control the economy of our community. You can’t open up a black store in a white community. White men won’t even patronize you. And he’s not wrong. He’s got sense enough to look out for himself. You the one who don’t have sense enough to look out for yourself.” He wanted black people to open up and shop in black owned stores because that would keep our money in our community.

He analyzed the problem saying: “When you spend your dollar out of the community in which you live, the community in which you spend your money becomes richer and richer; the community out of which you take your money becomes poorer and poorer. And because these Negroes, who have been mislead [and] misguided, are breaking their necks to take their money and spend it with The Man, The Man is becoming richer and richer, and you’re becoming poorer and poorer. And then what happens? The community in which you live becomes a slum. It becomes a ghetto. The conditions become run down. And then you have the audacity to complain about poor housing in a run-down community. Why you run it down yourself when you take your dollar out.”

Malcolm did not mince words or beat around the bush. He told black people what they needed to know and hoped they would heed his word. While trying to change the black community, Malcolm had no time to worry about people of other races. He spent his time trying to teach black people to love themselves and to invest in their communities. Teaching black people to love themselves under no circumstances translates into teaching them to hate white people.

Reference

Malcolm X. Ballot or the Bullet. Speech. Delivered 12 April 1964.

X, Malcolm & Haley, A. (1964). The Autobiography of Malcolm X. New York, NY: Ballantine Books.

Outkast: Two Positive, Southern Hip Hop Pioneers

Before T. I., Lil Wayne or Young Thug, there were two young men from South who had something to say. These two men grew to become the greatest urban philosophers and social commentators of our generation. They used the voice and platform that hip hop gave them for good and not evil.

Antwan “Big Boi” Patton was born on February 1, 1975 in Savannah, Georgia. He is the oldest of five children born to mother Rowena Patton. Andre “3000” Benjamin was born on May 27, 1975 in Atlanta, Georgia. He is the only child born to mother Sharon Benjamin and father Lawrence Walker. They both lived in the black neighborhoods of their respective cities and got into trouble as boys often do. But, their saving grace was always music.

As a teenager, Big Boi moved to Atlanta to pursue his dream of becoming a rapper. He enrolled in Tri-Cities Performing Arts High School in East Point, Georgia. There he met Andre. They began to rap together with music from a group of producers called Organized Noize. One of the members of Organized Noize knew LaFace record executive L.A. Reid. In 1994, they signed to LaFace Records, and the rest is history.

Until Outkast, hip hop music, which was created in the Bronx, was dominated by New Yorkers, but this dynamic duo put the South up on the map. Outkast is credited with putting the South on the map because the different flavor of their music made everyone listen. They weren’t gangsta rappers or dope dealers. They were poets who were saying things that needed to be said.

Consider Andre’s Verse on Ya’ll Scared (Track 13, Aquemini). He talks about the crack epidemic in a lyrical and poetic way. He takes you on a journey where you see a 15 year old boy start smoking marijuana. Eventually, he literally smokes his life away. At age 21 he is trying to figure out what happened to his life, and he realizes he spent it trapped in the trap which is another word for an area in a neighborhood where drugs are sold. Then Andre makes a bold statement saying crack hit hard in communities of color, but it didn’t get the right kind of attention until it started ruining the lives of well-to-do white people. This verse is truly social commentary at its best.

Outkast was also different because their hip hop was inspirational. Throughout all their music there is a strong “don’t waste your life” message. In Big Boi’s Verse on Humble Mumble (Track 15, Stankonia), he tells us that life might not always be what we want it to be, but if we have a goal we should go for it. We should not quit when the road gets hard, but, if need be, we must struggle to complete our dreams. We only get one life, and the things we go through will only make us stronger. So, fear of failing should not be a deterrent to us achieving our goals.

It is their “do something better” message added to the Organized Noize sound that brought them 13 Billboard Top 100 hits, two number 1 hits, 6 Grammy wins, including album of the year for Speaker Boxxx/Love Below in 2004, 10 additional Grammy nominations, 4 American Music Awards and not to mention a place in history as hip hop royalty. Hip hop artists today should take note from these young men and say more in their music because they have a platform that allows them to reach the world.

References

Billboard. (2015). Outkast – Chart History. Retrieved from http://www.billboard.com/artist/321442/outkast/chart?f=379

The Recording Academy. December 3, 2009. 46th Annual GRAMMY Award – Album of the Year. Retrieved from http://www.grammy.com/videos/46th-annual-grammy-award-album-of-the-year

It’s Not O.K. for Black Men to be Gay

In many cultures, there exists an extreme dislike of or prejudice against members of the LGBT community. Among African Americans, that prejudice seems to be magnified especially for gay black men. The general idea is that black men have to be more masculine because of the position of black people in American society and the history of the emasculation of black males in America.

To add to the social and historical factors, hip hop culture shows us that black men have to demonstrate bravado and sexual prowess. It is quite the norm for black men to have involvement with numerous women. In fact, young men are encouraged to conquer women and procreate in order to show their peers that they are “real” men. So, when black men venture outside of that box, it can be unsettling for those around them. In many cases, gay men face the most opposition from people they know and love.

I have wanted to do a blog post about this issue for a while, and now Fox’s new hit show, Empire, has given me the perfect platform. In the show’s pilot, there is a very emotional scene in which Terrence Howard, playing music mogul and patriarch Lucious Lyon, puts his young son in a garbage can after the boy comes into the living room wearing high heels and a scarf. Even when his son, Jamal Lyon played by Jussie Smollett, becomes an adult, Howard ignores his obvious musical talent, routinely ridicules him for being gay, and denies him any chance to lead the families record label, Empire Records, after Howard himself steps down.

On the show’s third episode, Lucious and Jamal get into a heated argument. Lucious yells at his son, ” I didn’t bring any women into this world and to see my son become somebody’s b**ch (pause)…I don’t understand you!” Indeed, Howard’s character was having a very difficult time watching his son be in love with a man, and the troubled relationship between this father and son was hard to watch.

The discomfort brought on by the tense scenes between Howard and Smollett is exactly the response Lee Daniels, the show’s creator, wanted from his audience. According to an article on Fox 411, Daniels, at a recent television conference said “he wants to ‘blow the lid off homophobia’ in the African-American community with a depiction of the show’s lead character’s hostile relationship with his gay son.” He explained that the show is trying to “give people the opportunity to see that what they’re doing is painful.”

Daniels is right. I am sure if it is painful for me to watch on a TV show it is much more painful to live it. In real life, black gay boys are rebuffed by their parents, put out on to the streets, and in many cases they end up homeless. Not to be too dramatic, but the struggle is real. So, we should not throw our gay brothers away. If you don’t agree with their way of life, you are entitled to your opinion. But, we all know that black men have enough issues to contend with from people outside the black community. There is no need for any additional hatred or hostility.

Reference

Associated Press. (2015). Lee Daniels wants to expose homophobia in TV show ‘Empire’. Fox 411. Retrieved from http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/01/18/lee-daniels-wants-to-expose-homophobia-in-tv-show-empire/

Black-Male-Sex-Object: Why Do We Keep This Stereotype Alive?

A while ago, I did a post about the Central Park 5, a group of young boys accused of raping a white women in New York City. The story was terrible because it brought back ideas about black men as sex crazed deviants. While it turned out that the young men were completely innocent the sting of the stereotype still hurt. But, if I am honest with myself, Black people and black men in particular, do a lot to contribute to the image of black men as sex fiends.

I was on Hulu watching a trailer for the film Dear White People, and a gentlemen made a comment about the angry black people in the movie. In response to a comment about stereotypes of black men he stated

“How dare white people think black men are sex crazed thugs?” But we glorify in music and other media the part of our community that are sex crazed thugs. You can cry all you want about negative stereotypes of blacks in the media but those perceptions will persist as long as the dysfunction in the black community persists to the extent that it does.

I read the comment, and I had to pause for a second and say “there is some truth to what he is saying.” The song lyrics of Lil Wayne, Trey Songz, T.I. and many others could make anyone blush. There is talk of infidelity, fornication, three-somes, rape and anything else you can think of. But that is not the worst of it.

The bad part, and I am sure a lot of people will agree, is that we sing and dance to the songs. We like them, and we turn up the volume when they come on the radio. So, if these songs are so great, why do we protest when the “white media” says black men are sexual miscreants and sites rap music as evidence?

Truth be told, there is a double standard. It is just like the use of the ‘N’ word: we can say it, but the minute someone else says it we break out the protest signs. I do not condone the use of that word by others, nor do I like it when the media says bad things about black men. However, I do recognize that if we want it to stop, we have to stop giving them fuel for their fire.

The Ray Rice Debacle: Black Men and Domestic Violence

The Ray Rice video is the 2nd most talked about fight in an elevator to be released recently. The video shows him striking his fiance to the floor and dragging her out of the elevator. This story shocked everyone because it is not everyday that such a private and terrible event is shown to the public. Rice and the NFL were both subject to public ridicule. Roger Goddell, the NFL commissioner, was railed against for his softness on the domestic violence issue when three other players were in the news for the same thing.

Rice and the three other players were all black men which renewed the image of the violent black man. Here we see professional athletes losing control and beating their women and children. We see black men behaving like brutes. Black people everywhere had their fingers crossed hoping that these events would not “set us back 50 years” by regenerating negative black male stereotypes.

Black men and domestic violence has always been an issue but there was a time when we could blame it on black male emasculation. The theory was that black men lacked any control over their lives because of the legacy of slavery and Jim Crow, but when they came home they could reassert their dominance and masculinity with a firm hand. This, however, does not apply to Rice or any other celebrity who has been caught in a domestic violence scandal (i.e. Chris Brown). So, what is the problem?

The problem is people use violence as a way to solve their problems. What Ray Rice and Chris Brown have in common is that they seemed to think violence is an acceptable means by which to get what they want. Black men using violence added to our nation’s history of racial stereotyping creates a perfect storm of negativity for black men everywhere. It is far too easy to make a black man the poster child for violence (consider Willie Horton and the 1988 Presidential election campaign), and it is too easy to forget that violence, domestic or otherwise, is not a black and white issue.

Nonetheless, every time something like this happens, people try to make it about “the violent black man” and black men have to defend themselves (no pun intended). Wendell Pierce, best known for his role on HBO’s The Wire, had this to say:

References

Bell, J. (2014). Video surfaces of Ray Rice’s domestic violence incident. USA Today. Retrieved from http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/ravens/2014/09/08/ray-rice-tmz-video-roger-goodell/15272689/

Rovell, D. & Keneally, M. (2014). NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Admits He ‘Got It Wrong’ Regarding Ray Rice Domestic Violence Incident. abc NEWS. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/nfl-commissioner-roger-goodell-addresses-domestic-violence-issue/story?id=25

Baby Boy: All the Stereotypes in One Movie

With black films perpetuating stereotypes about black men, we don’t even need to think about what the news media is doing. For example, the 2001 film Baby Boy brought the hood back to life. I love John Singleton, but he definitely gives life to negative hood stereotypes. The men in this movie embody all the stereotypes about black men.

First we have Jody, the black man child. He practically lives off the women in his life. He lives with his momma (AJ Johnson) and drives his girlfriend’s (Tariji P. Henson) car. He spends his days selling dresses in beauty salons and cheating with his girlfriend’s co-workers.  Jody’s stereotypes: irresponsible, lazy, womanizer

Next we have Jody’s best friend Pete, the gangster who is trying to change his ways, but keeps getting pulled back. He lives with his girlfriend and her mother. He is unemployed and desperate. Unfortunately, his past renders him unemployable, so he spends his days playing dominoes. He is a former criminal looking for redemption, but his lack of skills and the general lack of opportunity push him back into his old ways. Pete’s stereotypes: criminal, thug, derelict

Melvin is Jody’s momma’s live-in boyfriend. He is an obviously institutionalized ex-con. He has two strikes on him already and has to control his anger to keep from going back for good. He and Jody are constantly at each other’s throats, and Melvin’s anger gets the best of him. Although Melvin lives with Jody’s momma, he tries to get his life together. Melvin’s stereotypes: Convict, violence prone, brute

Lastly we have Rodney, Jody’s girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. Rodney, who was recently released from prison, is associated with the gang life in South Central LA. So he spends his free days smoking with his loved ones and terrorizing his ex-girlfriend. He is just an all around bad guy. Rodney’s stereotypes: gang banger, abuser, shiftless

Black media it is time for you to stop adding fuel to the stereotypes we are trying to escape!

If you need a reminder about the film check out the trailer!

Black Male Bashing…by Black Women

“They ain’t no good!” “Men are all dogs!” “A good man is hard to find.” Far too often these words come from black women in reference to black men. There are endless tales of black women who can’t find a decent black man anywhere in America. Apparently, according to a line from the popular film Save the Last Dance (2001), they have been taken from us by “jail, drugs and drive-bys.” So, what are black women left to do besides sit and lament the fact that there are no more good men of color left? I am not completely certain, but I know that we should not spend our time bashing them.

Perhaps one of the greatest illustrations of this comes from the 1995 movie Waiting to Exhale. The movie is about four beautiful successful black women who have everything except fulfilling love lives. The reason – all eligible black men are defective in some way. At one point in the movie they give a list of all the things that are wrong with black men. They are in jail. They are too possessive. They are with white women. They are gay. They are unemployed (Hutchinson, 1996). This list seemed to be exhaustive. It is as if the whole black community is devoid of any good black men.

It doesn’t stop there. There are many books written by black women that depict black men as antagonists. The Color Purple by Alice Walker has Mister as the indomitable villain, and The Women of Brewster Place and For Colored Girls show black men as unstable, irresponsible liars or no account drunkards.

We expect this kind of talk from “The Man” or the mainstream media, but when it comes from sistahs, it hurts just a little bit more. As Black women we are supposed to love our men. I would never excuse bad behavior but, honestly, black men get enough bashing from society at large. When they come home they should get acceptance and comfort not more of the same especially if they are doing the best they can.

References

Hutchinson, E. O. (1996). The assassination of the black male image. New York, NY: Touchstone.