It’s Not O.K. for Black Men to be Gay

In many cultures, there exists an extreme dislike of or prejudice against members of the LGBT community. Among African Americans, that prejudice seems to be magnified especially for gay black men. The general idea is that black men have to be more masculine because of the position of black people in American society and the history of the emasculation of black males in America.

To add to the social and historical factors, hip hop culture shows us that black men have to demonstrate bravado and sexual prowess. It is quite the norm for black men to have involvement with numerous women. In fact, young men are encouraged to conquer women and procreate in order to show their peers that they are “real” men. So, when black men venture outside of that box, it can be unsettling for those around them. In many cases, gay men face the most opposition from people they know and love.

I have wanted to do a blog post about this issue for a while, and now Fox’s new hit show, Empire, has given me the perfect platform. In the show’s pilot, there is a very emotional scene in which Terrence Howard, playing music mogul and patriarch Lucious Lyon, puts his young son in a garbage can after the boy comes into the living room wearing high heels and a scarf. Even when his son, Jamal Lyon played by Jussie Smollett, becomes an adult, Howard ignores his obvious musical talent, routinely ridicules him for being gay, and denies him any chance to lead the families record label, Empire Records, after Howard himself steps down.

On the show’s third episode, Lucious and Jamal get into a heated argument. Lucious yells at his son, ” I didn’t bring any women into this world and to see my son become somebody’s b**ch (pause)…I don’t understand you!” Indeed, Howard’s character was having a very difficult time watching his son be in love with a man, and the troubled relationship between this father and son was hard to watch.

The discomfort brought on by the tense scenes between Howard and Smollett is exactly the response Lee Daniels, the show’s creator, wanted from his audience. According to an article on Fox 411, Daniels, at a recent television conference said “he wants to ‘blow the lid off homophobia’ in the African-American community with a depiction of the show’s lead character’s hostile relationship with his gay son.” He explained that the show is trying to “give people the opportunity to see that what they’re doing is painful.”

Daniels is right. I am sure if it is painful for me to watch on a TV show it is much more painful to live it. In real life, black gay boys are rebuffed by their parents, put out on to the streets, and in many cases they end up homeless. Not to be too dramatic, but the struggle is real. So, we should not throw our gay brothers away. If you don’t agree with their way of life, you are entitled to your opinion. But, we all know that black men have enough issues to contend with from people outside the black community. There is no need for any additional hatred or hostility.

Reference

Associated Press. (2015). Lee Daniels wants to expose homophobia in TV show ‘Empire’. Fox 411. Retrieved from http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/01/18/lee-daniels-wants-to-expose-homophobia-in-tv-show-empire/

Why Must We Think Twice About Having Sons?

During the Michael Brown controversy, I went to a #BlackLivesMatter protest in Downtown Atlanta, Georgia. While I was there, one of the speakers told a story about his sister. He stated that he went to talk to her about all the goings on and she explained to him that when unarmed black boys are shot down in cold blood, it makes her think twice about bringing a black boy into this world.

Around that same time, there were a lot of comments on Facebook and other social media from young African American men and women who were unsure if they wanted to have sons and risk them being killed by police officers.

There were generally two sides to this debate. One side says “I don’t want to have sons if their lives could end in tragedy.” The other says “If black women decide not to have sons, then the those who want to eradicate the black race will have won.” I represent the first perspective and my husband, Clinton, represents the second.

Thomaesa’s Perspective

“I really want a son, but I don’t want him to be shot down in the streets. I want him to live a life without fear. But I don’t know if I can ever have that. ‪#‎blacklivesmatter‬‪#‎blackboysmatter‬ ‪#‎nojusticenopeace‬”

-Facebook User

I have always wanted to have a son. But when I see on the news every other month that a young black male has been killed by police, I am devastated. How can I, as a mother, teach my son about police brutality? Do I have to teach him to always put his hands up when he sees police? Do I have to show him the Rodney King video? I never want to have to do any of those things. I want to live in a world were my son will not be seen as a threat because of his skin color. I do not want him to be afraid to walk around in his own community. So, I am at the point now where I would forego having a son if it would save him from an untimely death.

Clinton’s Perspective

“That means that the purpose of no indictment wins when a black woman is too scared to have a black male at all. <–THINK ABOUT IT!“

-Facebook User

It is not proven that being black will CAUSE a black male to get killed or harassed by police. Yes, the odds of harassment are increased, but their is no guarantee that this will happen. That being said, black mothers should not stop having sons. We should not let these events stop us, an entire race of people, from carrying on our lives. Also, we should not raise our sons to fear the police but we should raise them to always respect the law. It is impossible for mothers to have sons who do not live a life of fear or have an inferior mindset if they raise them out of fear.

Below are more quotes from Facebook and Twitter.

Where do you stand on the issue? 

“I want kids, but I don’t want to bring them into a world where they’ll be hated before they even take their first breath of life #Ferguson“

“Am I safe? Are my brothers? My father? Will my children be safe? My friends?“

“We all need to apologize to our black sons tonight for giving them a death sentence.“

“I pray for my future children. Especially if I have a son.“

“Men die, heck, people die… Don’t live a life of fear”

“I was just saying how I don’t think it’s fair to knowingly bring a child into a society that doesn’t want you”

“You are right and it is sad that black women have to consider these types of consequences for our children.”

“It has been way worse in the past, but life must go on. I don’t agree with what happened, but it doesn’t scare me as a black male, so it shouldn’t scare you either.“

“Not just black women. Black parents in general have this fear. I want children so badly. I want a son and a daughter. But I’m afraid my daughter will simply be some man’s fetish and my son will become some man’s fear.“

A History Lesson: Bayard Rustin, The Forgotten Civil Rights Leader

When you think about the March on Washington, what do you think of first? Most people would say Dr. King delivering the “I Have a Dream” speech. But very few people know the story behind the march. The truth is the whole thing could not have been done without the tireless work of the master organizer and activist Bayard Rustin.

Unfortunalty, most people have no idea who I am talking about, and that is because Bayard Rustin has been cut out of history. If you have watched as many Civil Rights movies and documentaries as I have then you know that Bayard Rustin is hardly ever mentioned.

For example, before Selma (2014) there was another movie about the march across the Edmund Pettus Bridge from Selma to Montgomery called Selma, Lord, Selma (1999).  Many of the Civil Rights leaders that we know and love today are in the movie including Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Hosea Williams, and John Lewis. However, Bayard Rustin is no where to be seen in this film.

Why is it, you ask, that this key player is always missing? Not even I knew the answer to that question until I watched Brother Outsider: The Life of Bayard Rustin. This documentary details Rustin’s role in the movement. It also explains why he does not have the Civil Rights fame he deserves. The answer is that Rustin was an openly gay man in a movement lead by Southern preachers. According to an essay Rustin wrote in 1987 his “being gay was…a problem for the movement.”

In his essay, Rustin tells of how Dr. King’s advisors pressured him to ask Rustin to leave the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC), an organization Rustin himself helped organize. Also, he was made the deputy director of the March on Washington under A. Phillip Randolf because of  objection from Roy Wilkins who thought Rustin leading the March would be a problem. Rustin faced this type of opposition his  entire career.

Rustin had been an organizer since the 1930s when he organized a student protest at Wilberforce University because of the bad cafeteria food. He went on to be a field organizer with the Fellowship of Reconciliation teaching nonviolence across the country. He was beaten for not leaving his seat in the front of a bus in the 1940s, well before the Alabama bus boycott, and he taught Dr. King how to use passive resistance protest strategies. Decades later, in the 1980s, he would march for gay rights. Indeed, he led a life of activism, and unfortunately his legacy is almost completely forgotten from history only because he was gay.

Reference

Rustin, B. (1987). Bayard Rustin: Martin Luther King’s Views on Gay People. Time on Two Crosses: The Collected Writings of Bayard Rustin. D. Weise (Ed.). New York, NY: Cleiss Press, Inc.